WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THE MAGIC OF JUST BEING A KID?
November 3, 2008
A few days ago, I was
standing in an office surrounded by a group of “problematic” youth. They did
not seem to have a care or worry about the potential consequences from their
parents regarding their challenging behaviors at school. In the midst of my
confusion, I asked; “what ever happened to the magic of just being a kid”? The
students looked at me dumbfounded. The dubious look they gave me was that of…
are you stuck on stupid? So, I paused and asked the question in a different
way. Do children your age (12-14) play games like “Sink the Battleship, Catch,
Dodge Ball, Red Rover, 123 Red Light, Tag, Red Light Green Light, Tug-A-War?”
They said, “We have never heard of those games before.”
Again, I rephrased
because they seemed confused. I asked; “do children your age play any kind of outdoor
games? Do ya’ll play in the streets like we did when we were children?” They
responded this time with an emphatic “No! Where are children going to play? We
can’t play in the neighborhoods, nor can we play at school.” They reminded me
of how unsafe it was to go outside to play in their neighborhoods. They
reminded me that there was no equipment in areas of that once resembled a
playground at school and in their neighborhoods. They reminded me of how crazy
I was to ever think there was any magic in being a kid. They reminded me that
the type of recreational fun they engaged in usually landed them in jail or
with a DJO (Deputy Juvenile Officer). Their facial expressions clearly
announced confusion, anger, despair and pain. They reminded me that the kind of
magic I was inquiring about was unheard of in their era, this generation or
their community.
There was no
reflection of magic in their voices. However, I searched for it anyway. I was
in search of just one of their magical moments that involved play or laughter.
I was searching for the kind of laughter or play that could be heard in a
person voice without ever seeing their (telephone call) face. All I could hear
were cries of help. Their cries reflected anger, pain, suffering,
disappointment and despondency. Wow! It seemed I was
the one in need of an education.
Why couldn’t I see
that the children had been robbed? They had been robbed of the magic of their
youth? They had been robbed of opportunities that invigorated play or laughter.
They had been robbed of their roles as children. They were robbed of being able
to play in the neighborhoods in which they lived. They were robbed of going
home to a nice hot meal or possibly helping with the preparation of that meal.
They weren’t robbed of growing up without dodging bullets or experiencing
uninterrupted rest at night due to “gun-play.”
Who robbed the
children? Was it the school system that robbed them with unhealthy (lead,
asbestos) environmental conditions? Would not having Recess and/or Physical
Education at school everyday take away from the opportunities to experience the
magic? Did we as educators forget to educate the children about the characteristics
of being a child? Or, do we allow them to masquerade as adults and forget
that they are children ourselves?
The reality of it is…our
children sit in classrooms that are infested with lead-based paint and/or
asbestos. Many children leave the school setting and immediately assume the
role as caregiver/parent. They go home to cooking and/or providing meals for
their younger siblings or their parentally challenged parents. Some result to
illegal employment opportunities. They take the shortcut. Our children skip the
formal education process and become private practitioners. They assume jobs as
Street Pharmacists (distributing street drugs) without fully understanding the
risks factors (being jailed, robbed and/or killed). However, there are some children
that are wise enough to seek refuge with a nearby neighbor or family friend to
secure meals. Whatever happened to the magic? There is no magic in being a kid
when you have to fend for yourself whether it is by necessity or by
choice.
Where are the parents
during the opportunities for magical moments? Whatever happened to the magic of
just being a parent? Do we/parents only invest in activities that strategically
promote isolation or are we positioning our children’s brain activity for
addictive disorders? Ever heard of “video crack,” electronic hand held gadgets,
computers or stationary equipment that we cannot effectively monitor unless we
are sitting with our children? It all equates to video crack! Is that our
way of saying, go occupy yourself I am too busy?
Who robbed
grandpa and grandma of the magic of growing old? Grandpa and grandma worked all
their lives to retire, to vacation and to finally get to take time to smell the
roses. Thinking about retirement? Don’t! At least, not in this lifetime! Grandpa
and grandma are registering the children for school, attending parent/teacher
conferences, going on field trips and rearing their children’s children. What
happened?
Did the local and
federal government steal the magic? There was a time when parents were in
charge of managing their children. Parents did not fear organizations coming
into their homes and dictating parenthood or hauling them off for chastising
their children. Parents of old said, “I brought you in this world and I’ll take
you out.” That statement simply meant I will do whatever it takes to develop
you into a productive law abiding citizen. The reality of it is…if there is no
guidance, your child is “gone,” anyway. The police are killing our youth as if
it were a sporting event. Belts vs. Guns…hmmm???? Parental-ship needs to be
restored and given back to parents. Allow parents to actively parent and
discipline their children. The average adult that was brought up in a family
can share one of those magical moments where their parents commenced to
whipping that butt. They survived the belt.
Even if it were not a
whipping, the lesson was such and educational experience that it was hard to
forget. Many of us now swap stories about who had the craziest parents.
How do we fix this?
I’m glad I asked that question. A piece of that SEVEN-HUNDRED BILLION DOLLAR Fannie
Mae and Freddie Mac BAIL OUT might help resolve a few of those issues. It’s
gonna take “money” not “money/budget cuts!” We need money to educate parents,
teachers, ministers and students about the social challenges we are
experiencing as a nation. We need to educate, empower and employ parents,
teachers and law enforcement agencies with techniques to address the specific
issues that are plaguing our youth and robbing them of their magic. Every
cognizant adult should be encouraged to accept the challenge to educate and
inspire any youth they encounter about how to experience the magic. Let’s get
back to interacting with our children as our parents did with us. Let’s share our past magical moments with the
children of today. Let’s put physical education back in schools and naturally
invoke Dopamine and/or Serotonin. Let us all go to “rehab” and get off that
video crack. Let’s allow grandparents to be grandparents and parents to be parents.
Let’s tear down those lead based and asbestos infested buildings and create
environments that are conducive to learning. Let’s get back to playing and
laughing. “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine” (KJV, Proverbs 17:22), who
needs Ritalin or Imipramine? Let’s discover the magic!
Deidra C.
Thomas-Murray, MSW, LGSW
