Whatever Happened To The Magic of Just Being A Kid?

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THE MAGIC OF JUST BEING A KID?

November 3, 2008

A few days ago, I was standing in an office surrounded by a group of “problematic” youth. They did not seem to have a care or worry about the potential consequences from their parents regarding their challenging behaviors at school. In the midst of my confusion, I asked; “what ever happened to the magic of just being a kid”? The students looked at me dumbfounded. The dubious look they gave me was that of… are you stuck on stupid? So, I paused and asked the question in a different way. Do children your age (12-14) play games like “Sink the Battleship, Catch, Dodge Ball, Red Rover, 123 Red Light, Tag, Red Light Green Light, Tug-A-War?” They said, “We have never heard of those games before.”

Again, I rephrased because they seemed confused. I asked; “do children your age play any kind of outdoor games? Do ya’ll play in the streets like we did when we were children?” They responded this time with an emphatic “No! Where are children going to play? We can’t play in the neighborhoods, nor can we play at school.” They reminded me of how unsafe it was to go outside to play in their neighborhoods. They reminded me that there was no equipment in areas of that once resembled a playground at school and in their neighborhoods. They reminded me of how crazy I was to ever think there was any magic in being a kid. They reminded me that the type of recreational fun they engaged in usually landed them in jail or with a DJO (Deputy Juvenile Officer). Their facial expressions clearly announced confusion, anger, despair and pain. They reminded me that the kind of magic I was inquiring about was unheard of in their era, this generation or their community.

There was no reflection of magic in their voices. However, I searched for it anyway. I was in search of just one of their magical moments that involved play or laughter. I was searching for the kind of laughter or play that could be heard in a person voice without ever seeing their (telephone call) face. All I could hear were cries of help. Their cries reflected anger, pain, suffering, disappointment and despondency. Wow! It seemed I was the one in need of an education.

Why couldn’t I see that the children had been robbed? They had been robbed of the magic of their youth? They had been robbed of opportunities that invigorated play or laughter. They had been robbed of their roles as children. They were robbed of being able to play in the neighborhoods in which they lived. They were robbed of going home to a nice hot meal or possibly helping with the preparation of that meal. They weren’t robbed of growing up without dodging bullets or experiencing uninterrupted rest at night due to “gun-play.”

Who robbed the children? Was it the school system that robbed them with unhealthy (lead, asbestos) environmental conditions? Would not having Recess and/or Physical Education at school everyday take away from the opportunities to experience the magic? Did we as educators forget to educate the children about the characteristics of being a child?  Or, do we allow them to masquerade as adults and forget that they are children ourselves?

The reality of it is…our children sit in classrooms that are infested with lead-based paint and/or asbestos. Many children leave the school setting and immediately assume the role as caregiver/parent. They go home to cooking and/or providing meals for their younger siblings or their parentally challenged parents. Some result to illegal employment opportunities. They take the shortcut. Our children skip the formal education process and become private practitioners. They assume jobs as Street Pharmacists (distributing street drugs) without fully understanding the risks factors (being jailed, robbed and/or killed). However, there are some children that are wise enough to seek refuge with a nearby neighbor or family friend to secure meals. Whatever happened to the magic? There is no magic in being a kid when you have to fend for yourself whether it is by necessity or by choice. 

Where are the parents during the opportunities for magical moments? Whatever happened to the magic of just being a parent? Do we/parents only invest in activities that strategically promote isolation or are we positioning our children’s brain activity for addictive disorders? Ever heard of “video crack,” electronic hand held gadgets, computers or stationary equipment that we cannot effectively monitor unless we are sitting with our children? It all equates to video crack!  Is that our way of saying, go occupy yourself I am too busy? 

 Who robbed grandpa and grandma of the magic of growing old? Grandpa and grandma worked all their lives to retire, to vacation and to finally get to take time to smell the roses. Thinking about retirement? Don’t! At least, not in this lifetime! Grandpa and grandma are registering the children for school, attending parent/teacher conferences, going on field trips and rearing their children’s children. What happened?

Did the local and federal government steal the magic? There was a time when parents were in charge of managing their children. Parents did not fear organizations coming into their homes and dictating parenthood or hauling them off for chastising their children. Parents of old said, “I brought you in this world and I’ll take you out.” That statement simply meant I will do whatever it takes to develop you into a productive law abiding citizen. The reality of it is…if there is no guidance, your child is “gone,” anyway. The police are killing our youth as if it were a sporting event. Belts vs. Guns…hmmm???? Parental-ship needs to be restored and given back to parents. Allow parents to actively parent and discipline their children. The average adult that was brought up in a family can share one of those magical moments where their parents commenced to whipping that butt. They survived the belt.

Even if it were not a whipping, the lesson was such and educational experience that it was hard to forget. Many of us now swap stories about who had the craziest parents.  

How do we fix this? I’m glad I asked that question. A piece of that SEVEN-HUNDRED BILLION DOLLAR Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac BAIL OUT might help resolve a few of those issues. It’s gonna take “money” not “money/budget cuts!” We need money to educate parents, teachers, ministers and students about the social challenges we are experiencing as a nation. We need to educate, empower and employ parents, teachers and law enforcement agencies with techniques to address the specific issues that are plaguing our youth and robbing them of their magic. Every cognizant adult should be encouraged to accept the challenge to educate and inspire any youth they encounter about how to experience the magic. Let’s get back to interacting with our children as our parents did with us.  Let’s share our past magical moments with the children of today. Let’s put physical education back in schools and naturally invoke Dopamine and/or Serotonin. Let us all go to “rehab” and get off that video crack. Let’s allow grandparents to be grandparents and parents to be parents. Let’s tear down those lead based and asbestos infested buildings and create environments that are conducive to learning. Let’s get back to playing and laughing. “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine” (KJV, Proverbs 17:22), who needs Ritalin or Imipramine? Let’s discover the magic!

Deidra C. Thomas-Murray, MSW, LGSW